Kelly sat with her eyes focused on the wall. She was talking with her older cousin, Annie, about a new crush. He was a junior, a year older than her, and she had gotten caught by her mom sending him “bra and panty” pics. Annie listened to Kelly’s story and asked her to give a “run down” of the relationship.

In short, he went to a different local school, and she met him through social media. They started talking through direct messaging and met up with each other at a few basketball games. After a month or so, he asked her for the pictures and she sent them.

Towards the end of the conversation, Kelly stated, “I hope we can go out on an actual date one day.”

Flabbergasted, Annie questioned, “Wait, you’re not even in a ‘real’ relationship with this guy and you sent him half naked pictures?” Annie replied yes with alarming confidence and stated that many of the other girls she knew were doing the same.

An Alarming Teenage Dating Trend

If you are a teenager, have a teenager, or work with teenagers in any capacity, you have likely seen this “new” relationship pattern emerging as explained in the story above:

• Teen girl/boy meet in person or through liking each other’s pictures/posts on social media
• Direct messages, text messages, or actually stringing words together into sentences in a phone conversation takes place
• Guy/girl asks for sexually provocative or nude pictures (which according to statistics 1 out of 5 girls and 4 of 10 boys will. You can check out more here).
• Eventually (maybe) go out on an actual date

I’m not exactly sure where the “blame” comes for the emergence of this pattern, but I do know they’re learning it from my generation.

A Quick Overview

In February, USA Today published an article titled, “Survey: Sleeping together before a first date is a-OK, but cracked phones are a put off.” The story focuses primarily on the attitudes of millennials towards dating and relationships.

The following from the article astounds me:

“Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex before a first date than all other generations of singles… Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief scientific adviser to Match, [says]… ‘Sex before the first date could be a sex interview, where they want to know if they want to spend time with this person… In many ways sex has become a less intimate part of dating… We used to think of sex as you crossed the line now you are in an intimate zone, but now sex is almost a given and it’s not the intimate part…’”

(bold emphasis mine)

The new teen dating trend to desperately avoid. Click to read! Click To Tweet

If you, as a teenager, engage in this alternative dating trend, you are training your brain that this is how relationships work and as you get older, substituting sexting for actual sex is not that big of a leap. However, choosing this path will lead you down a road of pain, destruction, and unfulfilling relationships. (Which is exactly what’s happening to many of the millennials of my generation). I do not want this for you!

What Can You Do?

This new trend is completely “off the rails” from the way God designed relationships and we will ONLY find fulfillment by following his design for a romantic relationship.

Here are two resources that can help address this issue:

After seeing this, and so many other pitfalls that can come along with teenage dating, I wrote, So, You Think You’re Ready to Date? The Complete Must Read Guide to Teenage Dating. It discusses God’s design for relationships and discusses the pitfalls and emotional damage that can come when you don’t follow His design. You can learn more about the book by clicking the graphic below. I recommend this if you’re under 18.

If you’re over 18, I highly recommend Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age by Ben Stuart (Amazon affiliate link. We earn from qualifying purchases that help us run the site). In this book, Stuart lays out a clear path on navigating each of these stages with Biblical truth and relevant stories. It’s the best book on relationships for 18+ I have read.

Looking for Biblically based teen dating resources? Click to learn more. Click To Tweet

**UPDATE** I felt that I needed to go more in depth as to WHY this trend should be avoided. You can see the vlog here!

In Closing

Decisions you make in your dating life have far reaching consequences. Please avoid the temptation to follow this new trend and seek to honor God in EVERY relationship.

Thank you for reading and please share with others!

Here’s to healthy relationships,

-Sarah

photo credit

More about our ministry

At Transformed4More, our goal is to help those who want to grow in their relationship with God, and we do this in two main ways:

• The first is by providing resources. We have our own and ones we recommend. Click here or the graphic below to see them.

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