Miranda sat down in front of me with tears streaming down her face. “I just don’t understand,  why is this relationship so confusing!?”

Sound familiar? Have you ever been overly frustrated and confused by a romantic relationship?

After years of getting this question and searching for Biblical and practical wisdom to find a suitable answer, there are three questions I have discovered that you can ask that can help lead you to figuring the cause of the confusion and finding the path to clarity.

So……..here we go!

Is God my first priority?

When you begin pouring time and effort into a relationship, you can tend to put it on a higher priority level than your relationship with God. When God is knocked off the number one spot, it invites confusion.

1 Corinthians 14:33 states that, “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.” If there is confusion in your relationship, chances are you and/or the other person are not both making God the top priority in your respective individual lives and/or your relationship.

In Miranda’s case, I told her that God was not the author of confusion and asked if she and her boyfriend were both individually pursuing God and was met with silence. Generally, this is the first culprit of relationship confusion.

Does this relationship have a purpose?

Proverbs 29:18 states, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…”. A “vision” in this sense can be likened to purpose or direction. So again, what is the purpose of the relationship?

If it’s a friendship, the purpose is to support one another, create good memories together, etc. If you are just aimlessly friends with no real purpose, then the relationship can leave you confused and often times hurt in the end.

It is much the same with romantic relationships. Essentially, the purpose is seeing if you would ever be compatible in marriage, and again, if you are just aimlessly dating, hoping it might turn into something without a real purpose, you will be perpetually confused and likely end up hurt.

So, what is the purpose of the relationship that’s causing confusion? Is there one?

Three questions to ask when your relationship is confusing. Click to read! Click To Tweet

Are you and the other person being completely honest?

Not being honest also invites chaos into a relationship.

When I was in high school, I was dating a guy and had figured out that I wanted to break up with him; I just wasn’t sure how to tell him. Within a week or so he could tell something was amiss because I was creating confusion in our relationship because I was no longer being honest.

The same thing can happen in a friendship. Maybe you have realized that you do not want to hang out as much or that the other person is having a negative influence on you. Regardless of the case, “honesty is the best policy” to avoid confusion.

I know this is easier said than done because emotions are involved and you do not want to hurt another person’s feelings. However, if you want to avoid chaos in a relationship, telling the truth and being up front with the other person is imperative.

In Closing

Navigating relationships is not an impossible task. If you find yourself in a confusing relationship, take the time to honestly answer the three questions above. It is likely being honest with yourself about, along with prayer, will help you determine what to do next.

There are also a few good resources to help eliminate dating confusion. Understanding relationship basics can really help you have a better one.

If you are 18 or under, I recommend our book So, You Think You’re Ready to Date?

If you are over 18, I recommend Ben Stuart’s book  Single.Dating.Engaged.Marred.

(FYI: both of these links are Amazon affiliate links. That means if you buy the book from our link we get a small commission that helps us pay for the blog at no cost to you!)

If you’d like to read more of our relationship posts, click here.

Need a few good resources to help when a relationship is confusing? Click here to find out more! Click To Tweet

Also, I wrote a follow up post to this titled “Two Ways to Prevent Confusion in Dating Relationships” that may interest you as well.

I hope you found this post helpful. Feel free to share with anyone you think may need it!

-Sarah

 Photo Credit:
Shifaaz shamoon

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