Adrienne stomped up the stairs and shut herself in her bedroom.

“She just doesn’t understand!!” She mumbled to herself angrily. “I can’t wait to get out on my own and away from her.”

She had just had yet another altercation with her mom that ended up the same way again- both of them angry and frustrated.

“Will this ever end?”

During your teenage years, the relationship with your parents, especially your mother, can be tricky. You’re beginning to gain more freedom and biologically, you’re being wired for independence.

ANNNNNNDDDDD, before you think I’m about to defend every mom and leave you feeling guilty, I assure you, that is not the goal of this post.

I know that some moms are terrible. As a teacher, I’ve seen plenty of them at parent meetings and conferences and you also see them plastered on the news. The moms I’m talking about are not these mothers. I am talking about mothers (or step-mothers) that actually love you and have an overall concern for your well being.

The goal of this post is to provide you with three practical things to do when you’re having issues with, or feel like you hate, your mother. It’s more of a lesson on perspective, NOT GUILT. So here we go…three things to do…

1. Write a list of everything your mom has done for you since birth

Seriously, take two minutes and either think about or write down things your mom has done for you over the span of your life. [Insert Final Jeopardy theme music here].

Now, take the same amount of time and think about what YOU do for your mother.

Here’s what my teenage list would have looked like:

Three things to remember when you have issues with you mom

It’s a little one sided isn’t it?

Before I became a mother, I had NO IDEA the time, energy, and effort it takes just to keep a baby alive its first year, let alone beyond that. After becoming a mom, I saw my mother through a completely different lens and have never felt so appreciative of her in my life. I used to think teaching was the most thankless job on the planet until I became a mother.

Now, when I counsel teenagers that are having mom issues, I have a different perspective and it helps the teenager see their mom in a different light as well.

2. Ask her to write you a letter or pray for you out loud

I remember how I felt the first time my mother prayed out loud about me. Not for me, about me. The exact situation is a blur, but I remember how powerful it was. I asked her to pray for me, which she did, but she also prayed about me.

She prayed like she was talking to God about me, like I wasn’t in the room. She prayed for my future, safety, life, goals, everything. It was an incredible experience to hear it come out of her mouth. I had no idea she had all of that love and hope stored up inside for me and my future.

Now, as a mother, when I think about all the things I want for my child, I tear up and have an ache in my heart that he accomplishes everything God has for him.

If you feel comfortable, ask you mom to do the same for you. Tell her you want to hear her pray to God about you like you’re not there. If she’s not comfortable praying out loud about it, have her write it out. It may give you a new perspective on how she feels about you.

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3. Remember what the Bible says

When God gave the 10 Commandments, the fifth one states, “Honor your father and mother so that your days may be long upon the Earth.” It’s the first commandment that comes with a promise.

The Bible doesn’t say you have to “like” your mother or “always get along with” your mother, but it does call you to honor her. That means not disrespecting her. She may not be keeping up her end of the deal when it comes to “mother of the year,” but that doesn’t have to cause you to constantly cop an attitude.

You honor God when you honor your parents, even if it isn’t easy.

Remember that one day you will move out. That may seem like an eternity from now, but I assure you it will be here faster than you can imagine.

In Closing

So, remember, this is a hard time for your mom too. She remembers that little girl that loved her and wanted to spend all her free time with her. The teenage years are stressful for both of you.

I just wanted to give a little perspective and hopefully help you in your relationship with you mom. I want our readers to have good relationships, and not just with dating ;).