Three reasons won't marry high school sweetheart| Teenage Dating| Christian Dating| Transformed4more.com

“4 years.” This statement was written in chalk on a board long ago that stood as a promise that after my high school sweetheart got out of the Marines and I graduated college that we would get married. I was 18; he was 17…

This memory was revived the other day when my husband came home and told me about one of his freshman male students and his girlfriend. The boy told my husband that he and his girlfriend already had their lives planned out. They would finish high school, she would go to college, he would start working, and when she graduated, they would get married, and everything would be perfect.

I almost spit out my water. I just kept thinking, “They have the rest of their lives planned out and they’re 14/15 years old?” Then I remembered how I was not so different.

This story and my story played over and over again in my head the next few weeks, so I finally decided to write a post about it. This is in no way critical of teenage relationships and if you are in one, what I’m about to say is not meant to offend you…

Teenage dating relationships are not designed to last forever.

*Cringe* *Cries of outrage* *”But you don’t know me and my boyfriend; we will be together forever!” * “This girl has no idea what she’s talking about”*” I’m just going to quit reading!”*

NOOOOOO!!! Keep reading! I actually DO know what I’m talking about. I’VE BEEN THERE as I mentioned above, and maybe one day, I’ll write a post about it.

Are you still with me?! Good. Now we’ll discuss the three reasons you’re probably not going to marry your high school sweetheart.

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1. The odds are not in your favor

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 59% of marriages to women who were under 18 at the time of the wedding will divorce within 15 years. That’s nearly two thirds, or for those of you who are bad at math, that’s two out of every three!
[Source: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/ad/ad323.pdf]

If you think you will get married when you graduate high school, please read the statistic again. I’m not saying your relationship won’t last, it’s just the odds are not in your favor and to keep your eyes open.

2. You both change

You may think, “But we’re not going to get married out of high school. We’re going to do it after college.”

Here’s the truth: people generally undergo a tremendous amount of change in their college years. They are no longer under parental rule and for the first time have freedom that they’ve never known. Sometimes they abuse the freedom and make poor choices. Sometimes they quit going to church and no longer care about their relationship with God.

When I graduated from college, I looked back at my high school years and thought, “I’ve grown so much from then.” I couldn’t imagine still being in a relationship that I was in in high school.

3. God may have different plans for your lives

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” This means that you should whole-heartily trust God and follow HIS plan for your life.

When you are in a relationship, sometimes you can become blinded and think that this person is God’s plan when they may not be. You tend to ignore the subtle hints from God and can end up making the wrong choice when it comes to marriage. You have to remember that His plan is best and that He has the best person for you.

This should be a relief!

This actually should make you feel better about teenage dating.

Knowing that the relationship will not likely last will keep you from pouring everything into it and trying to “make it work.” It will keep you from wasting these precious years on chasing someone else instead of learning more about yourself.

Sometimes, you may beat the odds, marry your HS sweetheart and be married forever. I actually know about four couples that has happened to. However, when looking at that number in comparison of all the married couples I know, it is an extremely small percentage.

The best thing to do in any relationship is focus on God and let Him lead you. If He leads you down the same path, great! If not, you don’t need to be so invested that you can’t let the relationship die and then end up miserable.

In Conclusion

I hope I haven’t offended anyone greatly. I just want you to keep your eyes open and follow God’s leading. He will write your perfect love story :).

If you want to know more about teenage dating, you can read all our posts by clicking here. We also have a Pinterest board full of information as well.

Want to know more about teenage dating?

I wrote a book on this very topic called So, You Think You’re Ready to Date? It is a MUST READ for every teenage girl that is about to date or is currently dating. Click the graphic to learn more! Seriously, click it 😉 !!