*The free questionnaire is at the bottom of this post!!*

This is the second post on “lies girls tell themselves about dating.” Click here for the first post.

After our last post, my mind wouldn’t stop turning about this topic, and I began to think of other lies that girls tell themselves/believe when they date. Please understand that this in no way means you are stupid or uneducated. These lies can be subtle and you may not even realize they are lies when you see our culture and media.

So, here we go! Three MORE lies girls can believe…

The sex = love lie

Sex and love are not the same thing. Many guys out there, unfortunately, are only after sex. [Not all of them, I have a lot of respect for males!]. Many girls can believe that a guy wants to have sex with her because he loves her. They may also believe that sex will enhance or save their relationship. LIE.

Sex is not love. It is sex, and sex outside of marriage only fills a temporary lust in a temporary relationship. I have seen some girls so desperate for love, that they think sleeping with a guy will keep him and they are disappointed over and over. It is tragically sad to see them taken advantage of and their view of love become jaded.

GOD LOVES YOU. You were bought with a price. Your purity is precious in His sight. You need to be with someone who understands this and would NEVER pressure you to have sex. You also need to have someone who will stand up for your purity and their own if things start to go too far.

Do you tell yourself these dating lies? Click to read & find out! Click To Tweet

The “I can pursue and plan everything” lie

It seems in modern culture that date planning and pursuit goes both ways. It’s fine if a girl pursues the guy, plans the date, pays her half, and follows up. LIE. Let me let you in on a little secret girls, if a guy is interested in you, HE WILL PURSUE YOU. If he isn’t interested, he will NOT.

If you are putting in all the work, he isn’t interested. Guys will put their money and their time into things they think are important. That doesn’t mean all their time and all their money, but a good amount. Many teenage guys I know are more interested in their cars and video games than pouring into a relationship, and that’s OK, as long as they’re no stringing a girl along because they like having someone there.

If he likes you and is interested in you, he needs to be man enough to pursue you and plan a date. You should not be doing all the work. If you would like to see the difference in a date when someone isn’t interested verses when they are, click the links.

The “He won’t do it again” lie

Let me let you in on a saying that you need to remember the rest of your life: “Past behavior predicts future behavior.” If a person has done something in the past, chances are they will do it again in the future. God can change people and I know there are exceptions; however, this is a good general rule. We mentioned this in the, “He’ll be different with me lie” we discussed on Monday’s vlog.

This pertains to when you are in a relationship. If a boy says something hurtful, physically harms you, gets excessively angry at others, makes you feel bad, he likely will continue in the behavior. If you point it out to him and nothing changes BREAK UP. BREAK UP. BREAK UP.

If you find yourself believing this lie, we have an entire series on the Cycle of Violence; it’s likely you are in the makings of an abusive relationship. If you tell him and the behavior continues GET OUT.

In Closing

If you find yourself believing any of these lies, you need to sit and re-evaluate your relationship with fresh eyes. See it for what it really is and not what you wish it was. Relationships you allow yourself to enter into will shape your life. It’s our goal that by posts like this that it will help you have good, healthy relationships that will not leave you emotionally damaged.

To see even more relationship lies, download our questionnaire “Do I believe any of these relationship lies?” from our free resource library! All of our library resources are designed specifically for teens. We have quizzes, questionnaires, and worksheets as well.

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Love to all,

-Sarah

P.S. We also discuss this topic and so much more in our book, “So, You Think You’re Ready to Date?” Learn more by clicking the graphic below: