Hey everyone and welcome back to the Cycle of Violence series.  I am so glad you’re here! If you randomly stumbled upon this, we are doing a two week series on teenage dating violence. All of the posts are linked at the bottom.

Today we are discussing five ways to heal after an abusive relationship. Being in this type of relationship takes a toll on almost every  aspect of your life and hopefully by the end of the post, you will have concrete guidelines that will help you stay in the fast lane on the road to recovery.

There is a video that goes along with this is at the end of the post if you prefer that. :).

Let’s dive in! How to heal after an abusive relationship.

1. It takes time

I would be lying if I said this was a short, easy process. For weeks, or maybe months, you will still have anxious feelings. You will still have feelings of worthlessness. You will wake up everyday and they will be the first thing you think about. However, every day it will get easier and one day, you won’t think about them at all.

2. Remember what God says about you

Abusers strip you of your self worth and make you feel like you can’t survive outside of them. This can cause a great feeling of worthlessness. To combat this, fill your mind with God’s truth. Two great verses are:

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

God wants you to have a bright future. He created you for a purpose and it wasn’t for you to feel worthless.  If it helps, write these verses on note cards and stick them up in you room. Reading and quoting God’s word keeps the lies of the devil at bay.

Just gotten out of an abusive relationship? Click here to read five ways to help you heal. Click To Tweet

3. Get involved in something

The more you stay secluded, the longer it takes to heal. Staying busy will keep you mind off things. It will also help remind you of your worth when you help others. You could volunteer at an animal shelter (I mean who doesn’t love dogs?!) , help out with the kids at church, play rec league sports, work out at the YMCA, etc.

4. Talk to someone/go to counseling

If you feel like you need to talk, do so with a trusted adult. If you feel like you need more, go to  a church counselor or a guidance counselor at your school. Talking about it really helps and is better than keeping it bottled up inside. For some reason, there seems to be a stigma attached to counseling. Counseling is a great thing that has helped countless people.

5. Surround yourself with loved ones and positivity

This is pretty self-explanatory, but extremely important. People who love you build you up. You have spent months, or even years, being torn down and made to feel worthless. Having these people pour into your life will help you see you for who you truly are again.

As far as positivity is concerned, makes sure what you are reading, listening to, watching, and thinking is positive. Don’t watch TV shows filled with death or listen to sad music. Monitor what you’re allowing in and make sure it’s positive.

In closing

Healing takes time. Remember that God is a God of restoration. He will give you strength through the entire process. Lean on Him while you climb out of this valley.

Here are all the posts in the series:

1. What is the Cycle of Violence?
   2.Seven Characteristics of an Abuser
   3.Quiz: Am I in an Abusive Relationship?
   4. How to Break up with an Abuser
   5. Healing After an Abusive Relationship
   6. How to Avoid an Abuser in your Future Relationships
   7. Vlog: My Personal Story of Abuse 

Thank you so much for reading.

Love to all,

Sarah

P.S. We talk about the Cycle of Violence in our book So, You Think You’re Ready to Date?  We also discuss other dating pitfalls to avoid and what a good guy is like :). To learn more, click the graphic below:

More about our Ministry

At Transformed4More, our goal is to help those who want to grow in their relationship with God, and we do this in two main ways:

• The first is by providing resources. We have our own and ones we recommend. Click here or the graphic below to see them.

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