5 Reasons to Stop Telling Teen Girls that Pregnancy is the WORST thing that can happen to them

“Let me tell you something right now, ” Angie’s mom said with a stern look on her face, “having a baby is the worst thing that can happen to you during your teen years. If you go out and have sex, you could chance throwing away the rest of your life.”

Have any of you ever been a part of a conversation like this?

Although I believe that Angie’s mom’s heart is in the right place, as far as not wanting to bring a baby into a less than ideal situation, I wanted to write this post and discuss why statements like this can have a detrimental effect.

So, here we go…

1. Pregnancy is short term and survivable/ some STD’s are not

Pregnancy is short in the scheme of life. The baby can also be given up for adoption afterwards should the mother choose that.

Pregnancy/child birth kills about 700 women in the US annually. However, STD’s kill thousands*, and some sexually transmitted diseases will affect people for the rest of their lives, including: HIV, genital herpes, oral herpes, chronic Hepatitis B, and HPV. These diseases have ongoing treatments and can sometimes, as with HIV, lead to death. A girl would also need to inform all of her future partners of her condition as well.

2. The birth control pill can lead to higher rates of STD’s

Sometimes when parents find out that their daughter is sexually active, they put her on the birth control pill. The pill does an effective job at preventing pregnancy if taken correctly, but does virtually nothing to protect against STD’s.

The pill itself does not cause STD’s, but a girl can change her mindset because of it. If she doesn’t have to worry about getting pregnant, which again is the worst thing that could happen, she might become more likely to take on more sexual partners than she would have without being on the pill.

More partners means more risk of STD’s.

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3. Focusing on pregnancy creates an incomplete view on sexual morality

If all we ever tell girls is to avoid getting pregnant, then we put the entire focus on intercourse. This incomplete view can cause girls to think that just because they’re not having “actual sex”, that they are being moral and nothing bad will happen to them.

This narrow view leaves out oral sex (which also spreads STDs), sexting, and the emotional ramifications of sex outside of marriage, among others. 1 Corinthians 6:18 does NOT say, “Flee sexual intercourse.” It says, “Flee sexual immorality.” We need to be sure we are educating them the entire gamut of this issue and not just one part.

4. It helps fuel the abortion industry

Not long ago, I heard Abby Johnson say that nearly 60% of women who seek abortions “identified as Christians.” I was overtaken by shock at first, but the more I considered the statement, I thought, “NO WONDER!”

Pregnancy outside of marriage is a very “seeable” sin and many “Christians” look down on girls who end up in this situation and condemn them; that obviously makes the girls reluctant to turn to the church for help if they end up in a crisis pregnancy situation.

But you know what? PLANNED PARENTHOOD DOESN’T condemn them. Planned Parenthood can take care of the “worst thing that could ever happen to them” for $400. Can you see how that would look like a better option for a girl in crisis? We need to stop pushing our girls into abortion clinics’ arms.

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5. These thoughts can affect them into adulthood and marriage

Although I did not receive a message exactly like this from my parents, there was an overarching feeling from society and some in the church about the inconvenience and detriment of babies that followed me into my adult life and subsequent marriage.

I honestly did not want children at all. I actually had to pray for God to change my heart because after reading the Bible and realizing that he meant for them to be a gift, I knew my semi-hatred of babies was not good.

If the message had been more focused on the fact that babies thrive best in a loving home with a married mom and dad and that should be your goal, I may have had a different attitude.

As a side note…

In some cases, I know women where a teenage pregnancy was actually the best thing that happened to them. God used it to get them off of drugs and alcohol and ultimately, back to Him. They did have to deal with being a single mom and the challenges that brings, but God used their children to open their eyes and literally save their lives.

Also, I received this comment from a dear friend on the subject. Her mom became pregnant with her when she was 17 and her point is so true, “…also, being a person who was the baby in teenage pregnancy, it made me feel like I was some huge mistake that shouldn’t exist when people said things like this.” I appreciate her honesty, and this is something I didn’t think about when I initially wrote this post.

In closing

This post isn’t made to shame anyone. It is just my thoughts on this topic that have developed over the last few weeks, and I wanted to share them. Hopefully it will help shape your view on the best way to approach this subject. I know it has definitely shaped mine.

Until next time,

-Sarah

*I struggled to find a good source that only discussed STD deaths in the US. The website this links too has data from 1999-2000, which I know is old. If anyone would like to send me a link to something more current that is easy to understand for readers, just send it our way.

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