Three ways I Completely BOMBED College Dating

So today, I am opening up about a “chapter” of my life that I don’t like to “read out loud.”

From the title, you can already guess- it’s college dating.

If you notice, on this site I mainly discuss teenage dating from ages 16-18. This is because I did exceptionally well in dating during this age. However, when it comes to college dating, I made many mistakes.

In today’s blog, I want to tell you three ways I screwed up these years from a dating standpoint and hopefully provide you with useful information to keep you from making the same mistakes.

I will also use GIFS. They will help me stay more light-hearted as I write this. Otherwise I would just get mad at myself all over again.

via GIPHY

A little background…

My senior year of high school, I met and began dating the guy I thought I would eventually marry. The next year when I started college, he broke up with me a few months into the semester.

I was BEYOND devastated by this.

I was like the girl in the GIF below, except maybe multiply it by 10.

via GIPHY

I think this event catapulted me into a pattern of not being as picky as I should have been. I never thought I would find someone I loved as much as my high school sweetheart, and my standards just sort of went haywire.

Regardless of the reason, looking back, I realized there were three main ways I brought almost all of these issues on myself. So, here we go…

Way #1: I did not wait to find out enough about the guy before we started exclusively “dating”

College dating is different than high school dating. In high school, you generally know the person, their friends, what they do, etc., because you have grown up together. It’s not really hard to find a lot out about a person in a relatively short period of time.

College is different. People who really know the person you are interested in are not as readily available, so you cannot find out information quite as fast.

I did not take enough time to really pay attention to who their friends were, or ask around to see what people really knew about them. I went in almost completely blind each time- and I am ashamed to admit that.

Please make sure you spend plenty of time observing and finding out about a person before you begin an exclusive dating relationship.

Three ways I completely BOMBED college dating. Click to read so you do not make the same mistakes! Click To Tweet

Way #2: I assumed their Christianity

I attended a Christian college and was under the completely naive assumption that everyone there was a Christian. Therefore, I did not ask in depth questions about their spiritual life or relationship with God.

THIS WAS SO DUMB.

via GIPHY

Never assume that someone is a Christian because they tell you they are or because they go to church. Look for the EVIDENCE of it in their life. Matthew 7:16 explains, “By their fruit you will recognize them…”. Make sure you pay attention to make sure what they tell you matches what their life produces.

Way #3: I did not seek input from those who knew me the best and cared for me the most.

I never really talked to anyone when it came to who I dated in college. Susan and I went to college together, so she met the guys, but I didn’t ask for her opinion or for her to tell me if there was something she saw wrong that I did not.

Since I was away at college, my parents didn’t meet these guys until months later, by then I was emotionally invested and it was harder to see things for what they really were.

I so wish I had had them really meet Susan and my parents before we started an exclusive dating relationship. That way I would have been more aware of red flags before my emotions were in full swing.

PLEASE talk to and take advice from those who care for you and love you the most!! Doing this would have saved me an immense amount of heartache.

In closing

College dating can be difficult to navigate, and I hope this blog ends up helping someone. This is definitely not a time in my “dating” life that I am proud of, and I hope by sharing it, you end up with less heart ache or regret.

via GIPHY

To end, there is a silver lining. Using the experiences I learned from this time, along with life experience, research, and the good dating relationships I had, I wrote a 40 day devotional called So, You Think You’re Ready to Date? It lays the foundation for God honoring romantic relationships. If you would like to learn more about it so you can AVOID dating mistakes as much as possible, click here or the graphic below.